today

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Childless.
 
That’s a fact of me.
 
I’m sure some people thought.
 
Because she’s broken.
 
The kind of woman who chooses to ignore her biology.
 
***
 
Fulfilled.
 
That’s a fact of me.
 
Without children.
 
Still so many have found their way to me.
 
Wiggled into my heart. 
 
***
 
I went to every midwife appointment.
 
Ghaithaa let me hear her tiny heart beating. 
 
Through the stethoscope.
 
Tear burst.
 
***
 
This is the first time we met. She'd been in the world five minutes.
 
Can you see the hearts shooting from my eyes?
 
Ran from my apartment the minute I got the call—hair a mess, no makeup.

Paced the hall with Val and the kids.
 
At the beautiful Toronto Birth Centre.
 
Indigenous care.
 
***
 
When I staged with Lydia Shire.
 
Her four-year-old son was with us in the kitchen. 
 
We took great care.
 
Cooked his dinner—the lovely little prince.
 
One of the most beautiful things I learned from her.
 
Having a family and being a chef takes work. For both parents.
 
And it’s worth it.

​Because children are everything.

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