A male colleague saw me and JE holding hands, downtown Toronto. Thankfully he didn't stop us. A member of the work grapevine told me this man was acting all surprised in the days after the sighting. He thought I was a "lesbian." The tongues of the country club cooks employed by that institution were wagging that week. At long last, there was a category for me. Would they like me now there was evidence I'd been with at least one man? Was there a ceremonial welcome to shed the identity they imposed on me? Because who doesn't know that in those circles, "lesbian" is code for hetero man-hater. I chose work I loved. The price I paid was being othered. It was degrading to more people than me. Sadly I got used to being the object of gossip—my sexual identity their feast. The speed with which a new generation has put an end to it is a relief. Queer, Trans, Lesbian, Homosexual, Two-Spirit, Bisexual, Fluid—all those beautiful people holding the gates to freedom open. That man's arrogance was thinking it was any of his business who I got it on with. How it applied to my tremendous cooking talent remains a mystery. 1986Comments are closed.
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